I was tired of my lady,
We've been together too long
Like a worn-out recording,
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping,
I read the paper in bed
And in the personals column,
There was this letter I read:

"If you like Pi a Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga,
If you have half-a-brain
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape
I'm the lady you've looked for,
Write to me, and escape"

I didn't think about my lady,
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady,
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper,
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet,
I thought it wasn't half-bad

"Yes, I like Pi a Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food,
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon,
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's,
Where we'll plan our escape"

So I waited with high hopes,
Then she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant,
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady,
And she said, "Oh, it's you"
And we laughed for a moment,
And I said, "I never knew"

"That you liked Pi a Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean,
And the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape
You're the love that I've looked for,
Come with me, and escape"

"If you like Pi a Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga,
If you have half-a-brain
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape
I'm the lady you've looked for,
Write to me, and escape"